The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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