I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My hand turned me down
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
