you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
