Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
