how can u be prego again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
