Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
