i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
