nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
