You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
