found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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