i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize