Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just google imaged poop.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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