and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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