Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
