I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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