Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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