Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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