i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
