please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
