Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize