Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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