uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
