Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
