It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
