Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize