It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't notice because vodka
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
