Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
false alarm. still invincible.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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