It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
