how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
