the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
