wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
