Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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