We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
