She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
