Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
