She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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