That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
