The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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