and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
FUCK WHALES
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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