And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
