just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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