I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
