I hate all girls vehemently.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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