Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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