it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
