I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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