small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
