If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize