its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
