I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
