Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
