He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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