she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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