She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
