why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
