just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
