erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
