i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
