Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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