Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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