so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
