I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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