I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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