Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
In America we eat man semen.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
