I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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